Twitch to Vandread
by arturus luminae
Summary: *Bart, Duero and Barnette's ads are added!* The crew of Nirvana's own parody to the Apple 'switch' ad campaign. Check it out!
1. Hibiki

Disclaimer: I don't own Vandread and Apple. To see the original switch ads go to apple.com/switch. Make sure you have QT6 in your system.  
  
Ok here's the deal. It is my own personal spoof of Apple's "switch" ad. It's the crew of Vndread having confessions in front of a white screen with honky-tonky cheesy sound.  
  
Twitch to Vandread  
  
Ad # 1: Hibiki Tokai  
  
Um…well…  
It is hard being a Vanguard pilot and all.  
And with all these girls in a ship.  
Damn…  
…  
It's like they're all chasing after me.  
Well for once Dita calls me an alien.  
Jura wants my seed. What the hell is a seed anyways?  
She thinks I like her because of her breasts.  
…  
Misty is so obsessed with me.  
Why does she have that yellow whatever beside her?  
It's weird.  
…  
And Meia…  
She plays hard to get.  
Um…  
I like that in a woman…  
  
vandread.com/twitch  
  
I'm Hibiki Tokai. And I am a Vanguard Pilot. 


	2. Dita

Twitch to Vandread  
Ad # 2: Dita Liebely  
  
Um…  
I like having fun.  
…  
And I also like aliens.  
Especially Mr. Alien…  
I don't know why he likes to be with other girls.  
He likes to be with Jura sometimes…  
Or leader…  
Misty also…  
I don't know why…  
I like to cook also…  
Especially for Mr. Alien..  
Um…  
Am I taking too much time?  
Where's Mr. Alien?  
  
vandread.com/twitch  
  
I'm Dita Liebely and I am a dread pilot. 


	3. Meia

Twitch to Vandread  
Ad # 3: Meia Gisborn.  
  
Um…  
I don't know what to say.  
Um…  
Parenting…  
I'm not in the mood for it…  
Like Jura is so obsessed with it…  
I don't want the taking the baby thing…  
Believe me..  
I was stuck in a pod…  
With Ezra's baby, it was scary.  
I don't like the 'making the baby thing'…  
But I like the process before…  
Get me?  
…  
This is the weirdest crew I ever saw.  
But I like Hibiki…  
I wish that I can cook for him…  
Dita is getting in my way…  
  
vandread.com/twitch  
  
I'm Meia Gisborn. And I am the Dread leader and soon-to-be wife of Hibiki.  
  
…  
  
Hey Dita! Get your hands off him. 


	4. Jura

Twitch to Vandread  
Ad # 4: Jura Basil Elden  
  
Well for me I think if more guys would be on this ship, I would be queen.  
Yeah… They will think I'm the sexiest girl on this ship…  
I don't know with these guys…  
…  
Misty thinks I'm old.  
Am I old?  
Is 20 yrs old, old enough for a guy to get me?  
Don't think so…  
…  
Yeah, I'm obsessed with making a baby with a man's seed.  
I asked Hibiki the same question.  
He didn't like it…  
He doesn't know how to do it anyways…  
Maybe I will teach him…  
Where is he anyways?  
Damn! Meia and Dita got him first!  
Wait for me!  
  
vandread.com/twitch  
  
I'm Jura Basil Elden and I'm a dread pilot. 


	5. Bart

Twitch to Vandread  
  
Ad # 5: Bart Garsus  
  
Do you think it is easy to pilot a ship?  
Man it's hard!  
Being naked and all…  
And what is the problem with these women?  
They are apparently not attracted to me.  
And when I tried to make a move with a woman…  
…  
I made a move with a MAN!  
Damn it!  
…  
Why can't I be like Hibiki or Duero?  
They're natural girl magnets.  
Me?  
…  
I MADE A MOVE WITH A MAN!  
  
vandread.com/twitch  
  
I am Bart Garsus and I am the ship's Navigator. 


	6. Duero

Twitch to Vandread  
  
Ad # 6: Duero McFile  
  
Women…  
Why are they so curious about me?  
They wait for a long time…  
…  
Just to look at my hair.  
How inconvenient for them.  
You know how long is a long time?  
…  
Parfet…  
She's just curious about me?  
I don't think she likes me in a way that…  
Hibiki likes…  
Um…  
Who the hell does he like?  
…  
Paiway…  
She just checks everyone…  
I wonder…  
I can't see her checking me…  
  
vandread.com/twitch  
  
I'm Duero McFile and I'm a doctor.  
  
***  
  
Where the hell you two girls came from?  
LEAVE ME ALONE! AAAH! 


	7. Barnette

Twitch to Vandread  
  
Ad # 7: Barnette Orangello  
  
Me?  
I'm the one with the flimsy swimsuit!  
Why won't guys like take me?  
…  
Bart?  
He's too…  
Annoying…  
…  
Duero?  
To serious!  
…  
Hibiki?  
Um…  
I…  
Fine!  
I like him too!  
He's cute, emphatic.  
Just what a woman wants in a man!  
Hehe!  
I just don't want to join the chase!  
You get me?  
  
vandread.com/twitch  
  
I'm Barnette Orangello, and I'm a Dread pilot. 


End file.
